Protest Does Not Go Unnoticed

After protesters chanting "No Stinky Grass" went through the streets of Tycuflux, the Cenian government has pledged to remove the 15 million xhiya-grass that had been transplanted from Jacobia. When asked why the xhiya-grass had gone to Ceni, a Jacobian official declined to comment.

Arunnia Goes Hungry

Today, it was revealed that many Arrunian citizens were starving on their meager rations of bread and cheese. After many Jacobian refugees arrived with very little to eat, the Arunnian government handed out food, but could not hand out food to the poor citizens who could not afford it due to high taxes. Over 5 million people have died of starvation, and the Cenian government sent $50 million worth of food to the surviving citizens. They may decide to break away and join Ceni.

Happy Easter

The time when the easter bunny comes around.... Happy Easter!

Clerk Accidentally Deletes King's Financial Information

Today, it was discovered that a Madian clerk accidentally deleted the King's financial information. While on a trip to Madia, the king gave his keystick to a clerk at the Madian National Bank, where the account of a person who owed money to him was. The clerk said he would transfer the money into the King's account. However, the clerk accidentally deleted the financial transactions, and gave it back to the king. When his accountants discovered that the Bewlegi was no longer there, they immediately began working on the backup version. But the accountants demand a hefty salary for re-doing all of their work.

Ceni vs. Jacobia?

A debate has been going on in Ceni and the Cenian Senate: Should we declare war on Jacobia or not? As a recent poll of 156,702 people shows, 90% of the populace disapproves of Jacobia's actions or is neutral. A recent vote in the Senate to declare war on Jacobia lost 45/55 because Senator Cody Barrentine pointed out it would be a violation of the Demilitarization Act. But some critics of the vote point out that there is 1 loophole in the demilitarization act: that you can declare war to protect innocent people. But that remains yet to be seen.

Ceni Demilitarizes

After the story of the theft of Bringer of Justice, the Cenian government has decided to demilitarize, citing "the desire not to express wanton butchery on innocent inhabitants" and the "danger stolen warships can pose to inhabitants of Ceni". The Senate ratified the measure limiting the amount of warships that Ceni can have and limiting the army to a maximum 1:15 ratio 87-13. "Ceni does not want to capture unwilling planets and instead wants to defend itself" says senator Russel Seymour, who introduced the bill. The existing Super Dreadnaughts and SSDs will be scrapped.

"The Sauretik Theft" by Donovan Forsmark

The Sauretik Theft

Chapter 1

“Is everything ready, Max?” “All is prepared, my lord.” “Then proceed.”

The new Super Star Destroyer glistened in the Sauretik sunlight, almost ready for deployment. Crowds of Tiks swarmed over the massive starship, making sure that every single part was functioning properly. Max smiled as he gazed out at the starship and the space station which it was anchored to. “That ship will soon be ours!” he thought to himself.

Chapter 2

Caesar jogged to the assault meeting, hoping he was not late. His employer better be happy, he thought. Life as a mercenary was not easy.

Caesar arrived just as Max started barking the updated plans. “Team, this mission is very dangerous. We will break into the Sauretik Shipyards complex and steal that Super Star Destroyer. Who has any ideas?” Jon rose from his seat as he began to voice his plan. “We hack into the intercom and announce a break so everyone is distracted, then we break into the ship and hop it into hyperspace.” “Good plan, Jon. Let’s do this thing. Caesar, Jon, you will hack into the main computer. Henry, Tom, you will break the ship free from its bindings-““How do we break through-they can’t be broken through with a drill.” “I will supply some acid that can break through metal. Mike and Sam, come with me. We will take over the bridge. Is that all clear? ““Aye, aye, captain!” six enthusiastic voices responded. “Then let’s do this.”

Chapter 3

It was a normal day at Sauretik Shipyards, Inc. Or so everyone thought. Keren Matthews, captain of the Bringer of Justice, or Oevatre Bs Whfgvpr in Splak, his native language, rose up to it in his private shuttle and wondered when the darn blasted slow Tik crews would finish work on his dear ship. “I’m waiting! Get to work!” he yelled at the Tiks. A servant arrived with a cup of caf, and he nodded to his first mate. “We will finish today!” he declared.

A hovervan drove up to the guard house at the new Super Space Station at the shipyard. It was no normal van, though. It was Max’s van.

Chapter 4

The guard appeared and lowered the gate. “Who goes there?” he asked. “Someone dead!” Max replied and shot the guard cleanly in the face. “What happened?” he growled. The blaster gas must’ve gone out, he realized. Tossing the old blaster gas aside, he ordered Caesar to bring him another gas pack. “Here it is, sir “Caesar said as he threw the new one to Max. Max proceeded to shoot the guard for real this time, never knowing the blaster gas pack would serve as evidence against him. They silently moved the body into the van and drove away.

Chapter 5

“Guard 123456, come in. Guard 123456, come in.” Niter Jones looked out the window to the guard station. A van had driven past, and the guard was gone.  “Notify security. We have an intruder in the shipyard.”

Tetengo Noor, maintenance worker, was hard at work checking the turbolaser emplacements when an announcement came over the loudspeaker. “All personnel, you have break time now. I repeat, now is break time.”

“….I repeat now is break time. “ “Who authorized that? The Captain said. “No one did, Captain. “said the communications officer. “Drat. My ship will not be completed on time. Hey, wait. If no one authorized it, then who did?”

Chapter 6

Matthews recalled the comm message that had told him of the intruders. “Those intruders must’ve done it. But who knows their purpose for doing this?

Jon disembarked from the van with Caesar and prepared himself for the computer room that lay ahead.

Jon and Caesar entered the room and went directly to the computer. A message appeared on the screen: <Passcode please.> “That’s easy” Jon said as he entered it. It was < Oevatre Bs Whfgvpr>. The computer took a little while to load, and the message next was <Passcode accepted.>. Jon navigated the computer with ease, and selected comm. He then talked his message into the mike: “All personnel, you have break time now. I repeat, now is break time.” “Mission accomplished! “ Jon and Caesar cheered. “Now let’s go back to Max.”

Chapter 7

Tom and Henry secured the acid and jumped out of the van. They headed toward the docks, where the Bringer of Justice was anchored. Their mission: Cut the Bringer of Justice from its anchors.

Henry and Tom finally reached the Bringer of Justice. They easily located the anchors and poured a small bottle of powerful acid onto each one. “Tom, in a few minutes these will burn away the anchors.””That’s right, Henry.” It didn’t take much acid to cut through the anchors, because Henry and Tom left a few bottles of acid behind……

A forensic detective immediately arrived after the security team called him in. He then noticed that there was a spare blaster cartridge and a pool of blood. “You here need a serologist and a ballistic analyst.” “Let’s call them in!”

Chapter 8

The serologist, a Boydnyri by the name of Ubislaw Nach’um, came in and took a sampling of blood away to his lab on the surface of Sauretik. He determined that the blood was from a male Tik, the same type of species as the guard. Nach’um asked for a blood sample of the guard. Sure enough, the samples matched.

Gugr’an Semis, ballistic analyst, took a different approach.  He drove up to the guard station and took a look at the blaster gas. “It looks like this blaster gas was made for a Heavy Fire pistol. And here, look at this batch number. It was bought a few days ago.” Ch’r Flk’rn Jj’loig, the forensic detective, would soon look into recent purchases of blaster gas on Sauretik. And one of those people was one Tekian named Max Trs.

Chapter 9

Max, Mike, and Sam hurried up the docking tube to the Bringer of Justice. “One bridge takeover, coming up!”  As Max, a Tekian, slithered up the ramp, one tiny piece of skin started slowly coming off him. You see, Tekians shed their skin once in a while. Now this was not the right time to do it. “Max, your skin is coming off…””I don’t care, Mike, we need to steal this ship now!” “Alright.”

“We have reached the bridge!” Max jubilantly said. “Not for long.” said a voice behind him. “Not for long.” Max whirled around and was suddenly face to face with a Michosplak, most likely captain of the ship. “No, now it is you that is not for long” Max said as his gun wailed with one last blaster bolt. It shot the Michosplak right in the heart and he died without a sound.

Chapter 10

The forensic detective quickly followed the trail of the van, looking for possible evidence. “Gotcha, bottle of acid” Ch’r Flk’rn Jj’loig said.

Ring, ring, ring went the phone in Tik Forensic Experts. “Who is it?” their aide, Happy Nut’ranu, asked as he picked up the phone. “I need a toxicologist, on the double.” the voice of Ch’r Flk’rn Jj’loig came out. “We’ll get you one as soon as possible, Mr. Jj’loig.” “Thank you.”

“Mr. Changu, come here.” “There is a customer who needs you on the double. Go to Sauretik Shipyards and investigate.” “Okay.”

Mr. Changu, toxicologist, arrived. He quickly located Jj’loig and the bottles of acid. “One thing’s gone, and that’s the binders.” he remarked. A flash of inspiration came to him. “This acid must’ve been used to break through those binders!” “Let’s test it for fingerprints” Jj’loig said. “Get my fingerprint powder.”

Back in the lab, Jj’loig dusted and dusted. “Ooh, look what we are having here!” The fingerprints showed up. “Go to the fingerprint match catalog. Test these. I want to convict somebody!”

Chapter 11

Max easily brought the ship into hyperspace, heading to their secret rendezvous point. “Now my employer will be impossible to stop! And I will be rich! Mhuwahhahahaa!”

The fingerprint match showed up quite easily. It was Henry Poilus’ fingerprints.

Back from the lab, Ch’r Flk’rn Jj’loig observed news broadcasts from his speeder. The frightened anchor said “Today we have received news that the Bringer of Justice has been stolen. Whoever possesses it will be nearly unstoppable.”

Jj’loig went up the docking ramp. He saw a piece of skin that had fluttered down. “A skin sample. Hmm.” He noticed that it had scales on it, and it was in a long strip. “A Tekian did this- the one who bought blaster gas! Now it makes sense! The Tekian and his mercenaries stole the Bringer of Justice!”

“Now all we have to do is catch them…………”

Senator Getting Married

The Senator for the Sparkia sector, Allyson Munez is getting married to business tycoon Kurt Renick. The engagement was announced today, and they are scheduled to get married in May 7012 (2012).

Elections

Today, the Cenians held elections for Senate seats. here are the results:

65%- Cenian Central Party
16%-Cenian Independent Party
15%-Cenian National Democratic Party
4%-Michosplak Conservative Party